Chocolate Cake

I'll be honest. Sharing this recipe feels a little like giving away my soul. Call me selfish, but I feel a little pride in knowing (or at least thinking) that I have the best chocolate cake recipe out there. In reality I know I've seen it floating around before and I know I'm not the only one who has this. But it does feel like I have the best kept secret when it comes to homemade chocolate cake.

I've never been (and still am not) a big cake fan. It's good, but not usually my dessert of choice. But growing up when it came to be my birthday and my Mom asked what kind of cake I wanted it was never an ice cream cake, funfetti, or even fancy ones like Costco (yes, I considered that fancy cake as a kid). It was always Mom's chocolate cake that I wanted for my birthday. I think I've asked her once where she got the recipe, and I'm pretty sure she said she just found it in a magazine, but it's always been a family favorite.

I will never forget the night when Mom didn't want to make dinner. Tired, I'm sure of wrangling four pesky children, with a husband who had been at work all day and was still out doing full-time school. When the age-old question was asked, "What's for dinner?" her reply was simply "I'm going to make cake." And she did just that. And I tell you... as a little kid it was a dream come true! She earned some major cool points that night! Sometimes I wonder if that's the reason (until recently) I found it completely acceptable to eat ice cream for lunch, or leftover brownies for breakfast. Don't misunderstand, this wasn't a usual thing in our house. But I think it eventually taught me that sometimes (especially as an adult), you just do things because, well.... you can.

I'm sure you don't need anymore convincing, but here are some reasons why I love this cake:

1. It's chocolate.. duh!
2. There are no eggs in the recipe. YUP! That means licking the spoon and bowl and not feeling guilty about it.
3. The frosting! I really don't like regular cake frosting, but this isn't really frosting. It's more of a chocolate companion to help make the cake extra fudgy (fudgey?) and bring just the perfect amount of extra moisture. Because we all know, the best cakes are moist cakes, right?
4. And I've recently found it's easy to substitute ingredients to make it dairy-free and soy-free to accommodate my new diet. It's also fat free and sugar free! (hahahaha ya right!)

Enough with the blah blah blah already... gimme some cake!

The recipe I've included is for an 8x8 pan, but by all means feel free to double that baby up into a 9x13 and have more to share! (or maybe just have more for breakfast and dinner) :)


Mom's Chocolate Cake

1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

1/3 cup vegetable oil (or substitute same amount of coconut oil for soy-free option)
1 Tablespoon white vinegar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup cold water

Mix dry ingredients in bowl
Form a well in the middle of the bowl (I've never really understood why this is necessary, other than making it look cool when adding the wet ingredients, nevertheless I follow the family directions)
Mix well
Pour into 8x8 pan (ungreased works fine, but feel free to grease if you'd like).
Bake at 350 degrees for about 25 minutes

*I say about 25 minutes because as we all know, oven temperatures may vary and also your preference of mushy-ness will differ. I prefer a more mushy (read: moist) cake and so may take it out a few minutes before the timer goes off. Others who want a good solid (possibly dry) cake may want to wait longer. If you are cooking in a 9x13 pan my directions say cook for 35 minutes. But read the following paragraph to see my feelings on that.

**On an extra side note: Danny makes fun of me because I often won't use a timer when I cook. I just don't feel like they can be trusted. It's done when it's done, not when x amount of minutes have passed. I'll come check when I feel it's right, and adjust my "time" accordingly. He also needs exact measurements and I usually just eyeball it on lots of things (but not this cake). So obviously, do what works for you, as I'm sure you would.


Now comes the frosting/chocolate companion. Oh man, I really like that... chocolate companion. My recipe calls it icing, which I guess is a better description than frosting. But I still like chocolate companion better. (Again, this is to cover a 8x8 pan, please double if necessary).

Combine the following ingredients in a saucepan
1/2 cup white sugar
1 1/2 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 Tablespoons cornstarch

Add 1/2 cup boiling water

Stir constantly to avoid lumps
Boil, stir until thick*
Remove from heat
Add 3/4 Tablespoon butter (or dairy-free/soy-free option if so inclined- I use Earths Balance DF/SF)
Add 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

*When it says stir until thick, remember this is not Costco frosting. Icing really is a better word. It's not going to get crazy thick. It will be pouring consistency. Somewhere between hot fudge sauce and a thick hot chocolate.

That's it!! May I suggest waiting only a few minutes for it to "cool". Of course this is all personal preference, but I'd rather burn my mouth from eating it too hot than eat it too cold. Even with leftovers I always microwave my piece to get it piping hot again just to enjoy it better.

If you are a dairy eater this would pair perfectly with your favorite vanilla ice cream. In my book, however, nothing beats a giant glass of freezing cold milk (if I could) to go with it.


I know I'm not a professional food photographer, so forgive my amateurism, but I couldn't post without a picture

A New Year, a New Lifestyle

The new year has ushered in many new changes for us already, and the month isn't even over yet!

Danny was called to be Scoutmaster in our ward's boy scout troop. He is so excited about it! I am super excited as well since I get to be "in the loop" of the scouting world again. He's already really looking forward to scout camp this summer and is really dedicated to his new responsibilities. I was able to pull out my sewing machine and put it to good use to sew his patches on his uniform and hem his pants. They definitely weren't perfect, but I did a pretty good job for not having touched a machine since college. It was a good warm up for the sewing projects I'd like to do in the near future. I know it was pretty simple, but I was really proud of myself!

We also figured out where we'll be moving next month! What a weight off my shoulders! We are SO excited about moving! We are amazingly blessed to have a friend who owns a condo in Oceanside (just a mile down the street) and has offered to rent his place at a price that is within our budget. Not only is it bigger, but it's more than DOUBLE the size of the place we have now and has pretty much everything we could want at this stage of life. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. So not only will we be able to finally put Kylie in her own nursery (and not in the living room where she is now), but Danny will be able to have an office where he can work and not feel like he's restricted because of noise or keeping Kylie awake. And it has what I think is the biggest perk: a washer and dryer!! I can finally do laundry during the day without waiting for Danny to come home, and we don't have to leave the house! I'm so excited I've already started planning the layout of the rooms, color combinations for our extra bathroom and where we're going to put everything. Maybe I'll even post pictures after we get all settled in!

One of our biggest changes that has occurred just within the last couple of days is the change in our diet. I've been eating dairy-free for the last two months because Kylie has had some issues and dairy was believed to be the culprit. Unfortunately, she hasn't completely gotten better yet, so the doctor is thinking she may also have a soy issue. Because of this, I've also completely eliminated soy from my diet. I was never really a label checker in the past but had to recently because of the dairy thing. I thought avoiding dairy was bad, soy is in EVERYTHING! Like.....everything! 

But you want to know something funny? As much as I had thought "oh man, I don't know what I would do if I have to cut out soy", I'm actually really excited about it. It means eating healthier and being more conscious of what and how I am eating. Yes, it means I have to find a new list of recipes I had never looked into before, but it's been a fun adventure so far! There's a whole new world of fresh and healthy eating I've never experienced and I'm looking forward to experimenting. The substitutions and education has been a little tricky, but I haven't been disappointed by anything I've tasted yet! Just yesterday, Danny and I went to our local farmers market to check out options and found a whole scene of soy-free dairy-free products, as well as super fresh organic produce. Eating organic isn't necessarily an issue, but all of this has raised a better understanding and awareness for me.

I am so excited for this new change! It's going to continue to be tricky and challenging but I am determined to find a way to make it work. I am going to find the joy in it! I'm not doing it for myself. I'm doing this all for my beautiful daughter, and in return she is blessing me with a new outlook on my diet and a healthy lifestyle that I know is going to bless us in the future.

I can only imagine what the next 11 months are going to bring.....

Kylie Daniella

It's about time I get to starting up the blog again. I know some of you may have been waiting for an update on our little darling daughter. We figure being first time parents is a pretty good excuse for taking so long.

Kylie Daniella Warren was born on July 19, 2013 at 7:11pm at Scripps Encinitas. She weighed in at 7 pounds 12 ounces and was happy and healthy! It was such an amazing experience having her brought to my chest as soon as she was delivered. I was so overwhelmed with emotions I remember just balling my eyes out. I'm pretty sure most of it was pure joy, but I think there was a little shock mixed in there as well. It honestly took me for the first 3-4 months for it to really sink in that I had a daughter, and she actually belonged to me.

Danny was a great support to me the whole way through. Most Mom's talk about how difficult their pregnancy or delivery were. My hardest part was recovery. Danny was wonderful and changed every diaper while we were in the hospital, since I could barely move to get out of bed. We were so blessed that Danny was able to take two whole weeks off of work to stay home and take care of us, as well as work on the enormous adjustment we were going through as a family.

Those first two weeks, and the next couple of months were a HUGE learning curve for us both. Though Kylie wasn't small for a newborn, she still seemed so fragile and tiny and we barely knew what to do with her. We had fun figuring it out together though. I'm pretty sure those first two weeks were full of feedings, diapers, and naps for us all.
She being our first child, however, makes it difficult for us to see anything she does as anything but adorable. Each noise, grunt, fart, blowout, scream, crazy look, you name it. We love to just stare and say "awww". She's grown so much over the past 5 months! We love her more and more every day.

About a month ago we found out that she likely has a milk protein intolerance and so, since I'm still breastfeeding, I've completely cut out all kinds of dairy and anything with the milk protein in it (which we've realized it quite a lot). Downside: I'm a huge fan of all things dairy, so I've had to cut out a lot of some of my favorite foods. Upside: I've lost a lot of weight so far! The biggest upside of course is that my sweet baby seems to be doing much better. Most babies grow out of this kind of intolerance, so we can try to reintroduce it in a year or two and see how her body reacts.

Overall, Kylie is a very relaxed and enjoyable little girl. Being home all day together allows us to have a lot of fun, and now that she's older I can see some of her personality shining through. Currently, she's in the stage of not being super comfortable with strangers and she definitely acts different than when it's just us at home together. Even both sets of grandparents aren't on the "cool" list quite yet. We'll just have to practice more. She is babbling, drooling a lot, sucking her thumb, rolling from her back to her stomach and then sprawls out like an upside-down turtle. She has the strength to hold herself up on her stomach, I just don't think she realizes that's what she's supposed to do. She loves when Daddy comes home. She loves to laugh. And she brings us so much joy it's borderline ridiculous. I've added a bunch of more pictures of the last few months in an effort to catch up. Yes, she's our little chunker and we love every fat piece of her!

 

 

It is time!

Well... the time has finally come. Tomorrow we'll be packing up our final things and heading to the hospital. This is truly our "last" regular day of just the two of us.

The doctors scheduled me to be induced on Friday (July 19th), and we'll be checking in on Thursday to start me on some preparatory medication. To save you from too much info I'll just say they need to give me some things to get my body "ready" before actually starting the Pitocin.

We're all super excited and grateful for having made it all the way past 39 weeks! My fluid has been consistently low but never went into the danger zone like it was at 22 weeks. My bi-weekly checkups and tests have shown baby girl to be doing great! In the last couple of weeks they've noticed my placenta starting to age prematurely, meaning it actually starts wearing down, getting calcified, and doesn't do a good enough job at providing nutrients and oxygen to the baby. As of Tuesday it was still working well enough, but if left alone it can actually be fatal for the little one. In order to prevent this, and knowing I would be far enough along, they scheduled me for the induction on Friday. I would have loved to wait for labor to start on it's own, but completely understand the risks of waiting, and feel comfortable not going in that direction.

It's been so strange to actually have a date on the calendar when we can say she'll be here. And not only that, but it's SO CLOSE! We are extremely excited to meet our little girl, but there is still a part of both of us that can't really comprehend what is going on. It's such a huge transition. Getting married was similar, but this is definitely bigger! We feel ready, or at least as ready as we think we can be. I think it helps that we understand that we can't ever be completely ready to have a baby, our own child, living in our home and depending so fully on us. We're prepared to just take it one step at a time.

I'm a little anxious about what the next few days will be like. Not only with having a baby, but with labor and delivery. However, I'm also super excited to be having this experience. It's all so brand new and unknown. To me, I see it as that feeling you get when you travel to a new place (like a foreign country). You're a little scared, but mostly excited to start the journey and learn so much. All your experiences moving forward at that point are totally brand new and it's an exciting place to be. That's where I am right now.

So here's to the end of a wonderful chapter in our book, and to the fresh new beginning of another beautiful and exciting chapter that is our future. Stay tuned for all the details of how things went.

Daddy's Girl

Yep, I'll admit it, I'm a daddy's girl. There's no shame. My Dad and I have had a close bond ever since I can remember.

I was always interested in what he was doing and wanted to learn from him by observing. I remember watching him in the kitchen (he's an awesome cook) and learning how to cook a fried egg. I'm pretty sure I was cooking my own fried eggs much earlier than most children. I was never seen as a pest when I was around him. Sometimes he would sit in the garage and rummage through his old "memories" and belongings and I would just sit and watch, and listen when he told stories about an item. That's my Dad: everything has a story and a memory tied to it. I love it!

Dad and I were always partners in crime. Early on I decided that Girl Scouts was just not really for me, so I joined a local Venturing Crew (co-ed Boy Scouts). My Dad was excited about that since my brother had recently "grown out" of scouts, and now he had a new partner to accompany on trips and to meetings. We did almost everything together, and I was usually more interested in being partners with my Dad than with the other boys or girls my age. We canoed down the Colorado River, ran a C.O.P.E course in freezing cold and snow, went rock climbing and camping, and I was always helping when he was asked to cook for large groups of scouts (even when it wasn't my activity or event to attend).

Everyone in my family knows it, and they tease me about it every once in a while. I remember times when my siblings or even my Mom would ask me to talk my Dad into something we all wanted because "he'll listen to you" and "he won't say no to you". I just like to think I know how to present things logically and with a level head, rather than whiney and bratty like some other siblings may have. I don't know, maybe there is some sort of magic about it.

Dad and I have taken multiple road trips together through the years. I can fall asleep pretty easily in the car (especially when he likes to leave at 3am to beat the heat of the desert that we drive through), but we often have hours and hours of conversation while we're together. Nothing beats this! We actually took a trip recently with my Mom and husband, and they eventually were sitting in the backseat while Dad and I sat up front chatting about anything and everything. And don't forget the sing-a-longs we have too! Growing up so close to my Dad, I was exposed to the greatest genre of music which continues to be my favorite (Classic Rock, 60's and 70's). When we're not talking, we're singing and rocking out.

I always loved spending time with my Dad, and still do! Even now that I'm married off and living my own life, I still love spending that special time with him when we get it. Sometimes when we're out together I wonder whether other people think my Dad and I are "together". The thought makes me giggle, but definitely doesn't stop me from wanting to go on Daddy-daughter dates.

We always have a great time together. I wouldn't trade any of our time together for anything anyone can offer. My memories with my Dad are precious and I am so grateful for him. Thank you Daddy, for all of the wonderful times we've shared together and for all the amazing memories we have yet to make.

I love you Daddy!

Good Morning!

I woke up this morning to rain. The window was open and it was so beautiful to watch and listen to the rain falling. Though sometimes the rain is a nuisance and can cause a lot of trouble, it can sometimes also be peaceful and so enjoyable. I'm grateful I can sit here and enjoy it today.

I wanted to post today about some thoughts that I have been having, mostly around my previous post regarding my pregnancy complications. This being my first pregnancy, it's been a whole new experience for me. The physical, emotional, and psychological changes that have happened over that last few months have been such an experience for me. It really is one of those things that "you just don't fully understand until you go through it yourself".

One of the things that I've come to learn, and thus wanted to share with others is: more people have been in your shoes than you realize. It took us almost a year of trying to actually get pregnant. As we were struggling through that trial (I think me more than Danny), we came to realize that this was actually quite common for a lot of couples. It never occurred to me that trying to have a baby would be difficult, especially with so many unwanted or unsolicited pregnancies in the world. But as time progressed we learned from friends and family that they too have had the same issues.

We came to this same realization as we were going through our most recent "complication" with having low amniotic fluid and having to be on bed rest, the possibility of losing our child or delivering very premature. So many people out there have actually gone through this same thing. Some have had worse issues and others have had a little less. It really surprised us to learn how common these things are. And it surprised us even more to hear our friends or acquaintances tell us they had the same thing happen to them. Why had I never heard any of this before? Why, at first, was I feeling so alone, as if we were the only ones who were going through this?

I realized quickly that people just don't talk about it. Everyone has their own reason for keeping something like this behind their "curtains", and I completely respect that. I understand that it is a very sensitive subject for a lot of people and discussing it brings up too many difficult emotions. This is why I feel like it is so important for me to tell people exactly what happened. Yes, it is a little personal, but I don't want any other women out there thinking things like this are uncommon and feeling like they are the only ones going through it. I want people to know what happened with us and I want them to know this happens a lot. How much more prepared could women be if this was common knowledge, and how much more would they be able to handle the shock of it all?

I just want everyone to understand that, even if you have never heard or known someone with these kind (or any other myriad) of complications, these things happen, and they happen a lot more frequently than you realize. We'd be so much better able to support each other if we opened up just a little and knew we weren't the only ones suffering through a difficult time. While I don't think it's appropriate to divulge every personal item of business, I do think we can draw strength and power from each other as we relate and support others who are walking paths we too have walked.

Updates

Holy moly it's been exactly a year since my last post. Obviously things had gotten busy for us and I just didn't keep up with my blogging goal. I figured most people weren't reading it at the time anyways, so I wasn't too worried.
Fast forward one year later and we're now 2 1/2 months away from meeting our first child (a lovely little daughter). I am no longer working, and figure this would be a great time to start up again to help keep me sane, and also to update friends and family on our life as we transition into more than just the two of us.

We recently had a little scare with the pregnancy. On March 20th I was 22 weeks along and we went to the doctor's to find out what the gender of our baby was. We were told it was a girl, but also that my fluid looked low. They did a test (once while resting, and a second time during a cough to "strain" a little) and on the second round the test strip came back positive for amniotic fluid. They were really concerned and thought I was leaking fluid (which would have explained why my fluid was so low). So they sent us straight to UCSD hospital where they did an ultrasound to confirm the low fluid levels and I was admitted and immediately "hooked up" to get fluids and antibiotics. They did some more tests again, but didn't come back with the same positive reading for fluid leaking. The doctors were really good at explaining to us what was happening and why it was concerning. I was only 22 weeks at this point, and if my fluid was indeed leaking the baby could go into distress and would require an emergency C-section. However, babies delivered this early have a really low viability or survival rate (like less than 10%), and an even lower rate of not having any mental or developmental disabilities.

Talk about a shock! We had just planned on going to a happy appointment to find out if we were having a boy or girl, and by the end of the day they were ultimately telling us that our baby might not make it! Needless to say it was very scary, stressful, and shocking. However, it also was very calm, strengthening, and powerful. We were extremely supported by both of our parents who showed up to the hospital that first night, and also by the surge of prayers that were offered on our behalf, many not even knowing what was going on or why they were offering them. I have no doubt that those prayers are what helped us through it all. I was in the hospital for almost 3 days and honestly there was only one instance where Danny and I broke down in a very special moment together. Despite having multiple tests, multiple doctors coming in and out, (still) not having an answer of "why" this was happening, and having to make decisions about the possibility of our daughter not making it through this, we were strong and took everything as it came. I can be a pretty emotional person, so the fact that I was able to keep everything together through all of this is just a testimony builder for me that I definitely was NOT in it alone, and that I had an army of angels and even my dear Savior himself holding me up.

Throughout my stay they had tested about 6 different times to see if they could find evidence of a leak or rupture. All of them eventually came back negative. As I continued to rest and be on fluids they did an ultrasound each day to check my fluid and it was slowly increasing. Granted, it was still low, but it wasn't decreasing or staying as low as when I came in. Since they couldn't prove there was a leak (unless we did an amniocentesis, which we decided against), they couldn't really prove that anything was wrong. The poor doctors were so confused and I could tell it bothered them that they didn't have any answers. For us it didn't matter why it happened at this point, only that our daughter was healthy and had a good chance of making it. They offered to let me go home, which we decided would be okay, and we made sure to get a list of "warning signs" to look for just in case I had actually ruptured and started to get an infection. We set out knowing that we would have to go in to the doctors once a week to have an ultrasound to check my fluid levels just to make sure they didn't get too low again. They also put me on modified bed rest, meaning I was allowed to get up and shower and heat up a light meal, but otherwise should be resting. It doesn't sound super awesome, but it was better than spending the next 4 months of the pregnancy in the hospital. Obviously this meant I wasn't returning to work, but my company was so amazingly supportive and it wasn't an issue. We continued to receive amazing support from our friends and family. My parents (only living two streets away from us) were doing our laundry and helping with cleaning and food. We had a bunch of friends from church offer and set up a schedule to bring us dinners twice a week. I also had a few visitors to come and help entertain me. Both of our family was excellent in helping me to get to my weekly doctors appointments since Danny had already taken time off work and we wanted to save as much as possible for when baby actually comes.

As of last week (April 25th) I had been on bed rest for 5 weeks and the doctor finally said I could start moving around a bit more! My weekly checks have continued to look "good" and stable as far as fluid levels are concerned and I am currently about 29 weeks along. Viability has increased significantly (although we're still hoping she stays in as long as possible), and things are moving along. We still understand that this doesn't mean everything will be perfect from here on out, but the outlook is bright. I will continue to have weekly checks for fluid and to monitor baby girl's growth as they will use that to help indicate if she becomes distressed. We are hopeful, optimistic, and continue to be grateful for our many, many blessings.

Though this could have been perceived as a tragic event in our lives, we have been blessed with the perspective and ability to notice the good and see it for the adventure that it is; the adventure that life really is. In case you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about, here's a short list of good things we've enjoyed:

- I get to see my daughter on ultrasound every week, and usually get photos to take home (whereas most parents will only get 2 photos throughout their entire pregnancy). We have a nice album pasted all over our fridge right now. I've actually become quite fluent in reading ultrasounds and knowing what the technician is looking at.
- We've gotten to try a variety of different meals from the many people who have brought them. All of them have been amazing, and it's been fun being exposed to different types of food and to get some new ideas of options for me to make later on.
- Our testimonies of eternal families has been strengthened. We knew, and still know, that if anything happened to our daughter we are still sealed as a family and will have the joy of being with her again.
- I got to stop working. We were blessed to have gotten our finances in order for me to stop working only weeks before this event and it hasn't been a burden on us. I have actually been enjoying my time home relaxing and trying to prepare for baby.
- We've learned a TON about the whole process of being in a hospital, insurance needs, and multiple things relating to mine and baby's health. I had never before this been admitted to a hospital so it was a brand new experience. Danny and I were talking about how much we wish we could educate ourselves on certain things, and this has actually helped a lot.

There are many other blessings we've seen come from this. The list is just too long to post, and it continues to increase as time goes on. We are so grateful for everyone's support and love. We will continue to move forward with hope and optimism and know that even if everything doesn't work out the way we had planned, we will all be okay.

For your entertainment, here are some pictures from our adventure:

This is us making the most of the moment as we wait at the doctor's office for them to tell us which hospital I'm going to be admitted to. It took them a while because everyone was on lunch.

The view from outside of the hospital (UCSD) in San Diego. I waited out front in a wheelchair while Danny parked the car.

Me posing for Danny to take the picture of my beautiful bed and luxurious living space.

I honestly loved the hospital food. To be honest that was one part I was a little bummed to be leaving once I was discharged.